Intermission: Aldebaran's Holiday Card



One of the victims of the Fierros' rampage.

It's an interesting time in the lives of the Aldebaran crew. The Fierros, lacking their better halves, have set New York on fire with all-night binges, destruction of property, harassment of department store Santas (mistaking them for Greg--see Part One), cruelty towards pigs, and all around hooliganistic behavior. Maybe some pizzas have been made...maybe some records have been mixed and audio kits sold...I really have no idea. All I know is, watch out for Don and Lisa! 

#1. on the list: laser tag!

And Carl? Well, I have no clue what Carl is doing in Michigan, either, but  rumor has it he's been making a list and checking it twice, and this list (of things to do before he aborts his nice cushy energy management position in Seattle) keeps getting longer, much like Pee Wee Herman's proverbial sweater that he keeps knitting, and knitting, and KNITTING...To make matters worse for Carl, Raleigh hasn't been paying his child support(s), and is therefore on the run from Johnny Law this holiday season. Carl thinks he's snuck over the border to Mexico, but has high hopes that Raleigh will once again find a band of missionaries to infiltrate as a "rescue dog," and will meet us right on time in San Diego.

Andy's 200 yard espresso stare.

All alone in a cold, cold world.



At least I can always count on Andy to be fastened down to a reasonable schedule of sensible behaviors. Wake up at dawn, stretch, eat a bagel with hummus and avocado, teach snowboarding all day, come home, stretch, watch some sport, in bed by ten. Then again, he must be freaking out about the shitty espresso in Colorado, and missing New York, and Lisa, and the holidays with family...and he is definitely missing harassing and getting harassed by me and Don! He very well may be setting things on fire too.

I've just been getting set on fire by hot yoga in little old Fair Oaks, CA, and Henkeling around with the Henkels in a different pair of boat shoes every day. Mom used to work for Nike in the eighties, and has about a thousand pairs of shoes stored away in a bomb shelter, just in case World War III happens in our lifetime and there's a massive food shortage. It's good to know that we will be both well shod, and well fed, by her passion for fashion! Anyhow, I guess Nike owns or owned Spalding, who made some very nice topsiders which I now possess. Since I've been driving around in a car without a radio, I made up a song/rap about it. I hope to perfect it on the boat so I can make it a solid gold hit in New Zealand. Amy Poehler can come perform it with me, and people can see how much we don't actually look alike.

...I  make the more comical faces.

 

While we both enjoy a buttery chard...

Chorus:

I got more boat shoes than you!

I got more boat shoes than you!

I got more boat shoes, tell you what I'll do

Gonna walk all over the boats in the blue!

Walkin on the harbor, Ventura or Ann Arbor

Ain't no finer feet you gonna see

I got Sperry Topsiders, Spalding No-Sliders,
No one's got more boat shoes than me.

[Chorus repeats]

In Brooklyn they all got pairs, but they never go nowheres

Their boat shoes never ever seen the sea

But their fashion don't matter, don't mind their pitter patter

Cuz no one's got more boat shoes than me.

[Chorus repeats]

Aldebaran flees marauding gingerbread men.

Hmmm. Maybe I'm freaking out a little myself. Merry Christmas, Merry Festivus, Happy Haunikau, Jolly Qwansa, and a very Jingly Nothingness to the atheists! I promise Part Duex of Aldebbie's Smooth Move will be up by 2011!